Ah, the early ’90s. A magical time when cartoon logic reigned supreme, and network executives would greenlight anything with bright colors, talking animals, and a toy deal in the works. It was an era of questionable animation decisions, and while some of them hold up (Batman: The Animated Series, we’re looking at you), others were so bizarre that looking back on them feels like remembering a fever dream.
And yet, nothing sums up ’90s cartoon insanity quite like anthropomorphic crime-fighting animals—a niche genre so unstoppable that it practically defined Saturday morning television.
Of course, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the undisputed king of this oddly specific empire. But for every successful squad of mutated martial artists, there were a dozen copycats desperately trying to milk the formula for all it was worth. And few took that more literally than The Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa—a show about mutant cows who enforce the law by kicking the absolute crap out of each other.
So… what the hell was this show about?
You ever wonder what would happen if the Old West was suddenly populated by irradiated cowboy cattle? No? Well, too bad, because that’s exactly the premise here.
The show followed a group of cows who became human-cow hybrids after a mystical comet of doom crash-landed into the Western plains in the 19th century. Not only did this mutant space rock give them biceps and the ability to shoot revolvers, but it also created an entire floating mesa in the sky—because the laws of physics were just a suggestion in the ’90s.
Thanks to this whole “bovine enlightenment” event, the cows evolved into a fully functioning Wild West society, complete with a justice system, cowboy hats, and a frankly irresponsible number of puns. The town’s protectors? The C.O.W.-Boys, led by Marshal Moo Montana, Dakota Duke, and Cowlarado Kid—all of whom spent their days upholding law and order by absolutely wrecking any cow criminals dumb enough to cross them.
This is not an exaggeration. The show was just mutant cattle engaging in brutal fistfights and gun duels, all while the writers doubled down on cow-based wordplay like their lives depended on it. Terms like “bovipomorphic” and “cow-metized” were thrown around completely unironically, and if you didn’t enjoy it? Too bad, because ABC had already committed to 26 episodes.
As if the concept wasn’t weird enough, The Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa somehow managed to rope in some huge voice actors to bring its hoofed heroes and villains to life.
Tim Curry, a man who has never phoned in a single role, played Jacque Le Beefe (yes, that’s real). Jim Cummings, the voice behind half your childhood, played Dakota Duke. Meanwhile, Joe Piscopo took on Sheriff Terrorbull, Jeff Bennett voiced Cowlarado Kid, and Pat Fraley starred as Marshal Moo Montana.
If none of those names ring a bell, their voices definitely will. These actors were in every cartoon you ever watched—which makes it even funnier that they were once paid to yell cowboy catchphrases as mutant cows.
While the C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa only lasted from 1992 to 1993, it refused to be forgotten—mainly thanks to a Konami arcade game that was weirdly awesome.
Released in 1992, this side-scrolling beat-‘em-up was basically Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meets the Wild West, complete with guns, over-the-top action, and an unholy number of explosions. It was a staple of pizza parlors and arcades, and if you were lucky enough to play it back in the day, you know it slapped, Will Smith style.
Now the real question- is it worth watching today?
Look, I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, nostalgia tells me this show ruled. It was pure, unfiltered ’90s chaos, and there’s something beautiful about that. On the other hand, I am now an adult with a fully developed brain (debatable), and I fear the reality of rewatching it would ruin everything.
Still, if you’re feeling adventurous—or just want to experience what network execs were smoking in the early ’90s—you can find the first episode on YouTube (because obviously, it’s not available on any real streaming platform). Just prepare yourself for terrible quality, excessive cow puns, and the unavoidable realization that this show was even weirder than you remember.
But hey, that theme song is still an absolute and total banger.
Big thanks to Ms. Liz Ezor for putting this up:
You can read more about all of these characters over on the Moo Mesa Fandom. I KNOW, THERE IS A MOO F***ING MESA FANDOM.
