It’s not the Squad we were hoping for.

[dropcap size=small]S[/dropcap]uicide Squad immediately makes us aware that it is part of the newly forming DCEU as it starts out right where BvS left off. Intelligence badass Amanda Waller has since come up with the wacky idea to assemble a team of misfit criminals to protect us, and to move the story along the government luckily goes right along with it.

The squad that Waller has come to collect over the years is comprised of father/hit man Deadshot (Will Smith), psychiatrist gone psychopath Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), a southern-style Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), walking flame-thrower El Diablo (Jay Hernandez) also known as “ese” throughout the film, mercenary Slipknot (Adam Beach), and umm… I know we’re forgetting one. Boomerang! Yeah, Boomerang (Jai Courtney) was there too. He like, throws ineffective boomerangs and drinks stuff from loudly opening cans, a true asset. Oh, Katana (Karen Fukuhara) randomly shows up too.

If our introduction of these characters sounds unenthusiastic, this is meant to simulate exactly how it looked on the screen. As we flash through the different cell blocks to introduce our members we are left to rely on the cliche “words-on-the-screen” explanation of their wrongdoings for some sense of character development. The only characters with any extensive-ish backstory and heart are Deadshot and Harley Quinn, and sadly by the end of it all you still couldn’t care less if they lived or died. The other characters are just pushed to the side and pop up only every now and again for one liners.

Don’t get us wrong, there are entertaining parts and most characters have at least one redeeming moment, but the overall film falls flat because of how boring it is. With such a colorful cast of characters, you would think that they would be entertaining but they’re not. Sadly we all fell victim to an awesome marketing campaign. We’ll basically throw our money at anything synchronized to Bohemian Rhapsody. We were meant to believe that this was a team of deeply dark minded criminals that kill people for fun that band together to do just that, but instead we were given a group of aging criminals that are really just trying to live normal boring lives. Maybe not Harley Quinn, she’s definitely insane, but she’s still never as insane as you want her to be. She’s seen holding her signature mallet at one point but never uses it. Come on, David Ayer! Next time fight for that R rating. You know that’s what you wanted.

You’re told the Joker is crazy and menacing but the movie never really shows you that. If anything, Jared Leto’s take on the character is kind of annoying. Any scene with the Joker can be taken out of the movie and you wouldn’t really notice it. You know you’re doing it wrong when you have a whole team of villains and the most menacing character in the movie isn’t even a super villain (we’re talking about Amanda Waller). We’re sure there are plans to elaborate on the Joker in the future, but this teaser of the character hasn’t left us feeling very positive.

With a title like Suicide Squad you would think that our team would be in extreme danger throughout, but we never really see that. The main villains are a 6000-something-year-old witch goddess named Enchantress that has possessed Dr. June Moone, Col. Rick Flag’s girlfriend. Rick Flag being the babysitter to the Suicide Squad that carries the magic button to detonate each of their pre-implanted neck bombs. You know, just in case one of them decides to go rogue. The other “villain” being another god named Incubus, though you’ll only hear him referred to as “BROTHER!” throughout the film, because that’s a lot scarier. In the end, neither of these villains feel like a real threat and that’s probably due to the editing. The film tries so hard to be stylized and comic book-esque that it cuts around from scene to scene never giving us a full action sequence. Each promising moment is like action blue balls.

As we mentioned earlier, this film wants you to be aware that it is in the DCEU, so we do get our mandatory Batfleck and friends cameos. Possibly some of the better parts of the movie, but quite obviously trying its best not to feel like a plug for the upcoming Justice League. Not an easy task. Though judging by that new trailer it looks promising, but we’re all learning how deceiving trailers can be. Let’s start the petition now to bring back Nolan before it’s too late. Pay him whatever it takes, Warner Bros.

To wrap it up, this is a film that we all wanted to be as fun as the trailers made it out to be. Unfortunately, with little character development and a boring plot we got served another disappointing installment in the Zack Snyder universe. It’s entertaining at times, but not enough to make you feel good after leaving the theater. In fact, our tickets just said “Suicide” on them. Now we’re not saying that this film made us want to kill ourselves, but your results may vary.

FINAL SCORE: 2/5

John
I was born, I pooped myself a bunch, I cried, took my first step, and then at the young age of eight my dad showed me a little film by the name of Pulp Fiction. My mind was blown. From that moment I learned to appreciate film on another level. To put it simply, I love movies.