Game of Thrones Review: ‘The Dance of Dragons’

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“You are the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon, and you are my daughter.” Well, so much for that.

This is your warning, for the night is dark and full of spoilers.

[dropcap size=small]O[/dropcap]ften on Game of Thrones, a character does something seemingly unforgivable, only for us to grow to like them. Take Jaime Lannister; in the same scene, Jaime had sex with his sister and pushed a small boy from a window, but he’s since become a lot of people’s favorite character. You can never really know how you feel about anyone in this show. Until they have their own daughter burned alive. There’s no coming back from that.

Stannis, the man dead set on building a Baratheon dynasty, watches his only heir go up in flames before his eyes, all because he was told to by a woman whose advice is yet to win him anything. I think even a part of him knows it’s a bad move, as he banishes Davos, his voice of reason, so that the ceremony can happen unopposed.

A few weeks ago, in my ‘Sons of the Harpy’ review, I wrote the following: ‘I hope Stannis sits on that god damn throne, with Shireen as his heir, and I hope we get to see more of this Stannis.’ My only hope now is that Sansa throws Ramsay from a high tower and he lands on Stannis. Two birds.

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And if you thought that the innocent young girls of the show might get a rest after what happens to Shireen, you haven’t watched Game of Thrones before. Meryn Trant arrives in Braavos to meet with the Iron Bank, and Arya’s storyline becomes relevant again. Arya follows Ser Meryn to a brothel, and he almost catches her several times because she’s just a terrible faceless assassin. I mean, her face is right there.

There he demands a young girl, and I was so sure Arya was going to volunteer in an attempt to check another name off her list, but in waiting, Arya now has time to plan her first assassination. We’ll find out next week how much she has learned in Braavos, and whether her story arc has been worth all the build-up.

Jaime is told to return home with Bronn, Myrcella and Trystane Martell in tow, while Ellaria Sand swears allegiance to Prince Doran. It’s all a little too good to be true, but maybe Doran Martell is just a good dude. If Ellaria’s allegiance is genuine and the war is over, it’s been the most anticlimactic war of all time, and the Sand Snakes will have been completely wasted (they’ve been in a cell for most of their screen time).

Things aren’t so anticlimactic in Meereen, where Dany and her squad are attacked by the Sons of the Harpy, and lots of them (this Harpy bloke has obviously been busy). Jorah is reintroduced into the fold after first surviving the fighting pit, and then saving his Queen from the first attacker. As more Unsullied are slaughtered, Jorah tries to lead Daenerys to safety: ‘Hey, you know that greyscale I’ve totally got,’ he says, ‘wanna hold my hand?’

But it’s no good. They’re surrounded. They could probably do with a dragon. Enter Drogon. It’s a good job Drogon abandoned Dany when he did, otherwise he’d be in storage with Rhaegal and Viserion and Dany would be so dead right now.

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When Dany mounts Drogon and makes her escape, we pan round to a speechless Tyrion. Book-readers will know about Tyrion’s dragon dreams, and what an important shot this is. Even show-watchers can see that Tyrion knows he’s looking at the real deal right there.

All in all, an enjoyable episode. A brutal, disturbing episode that I feel bad for having enjoyed, but enjoy it I did. The battle in Meereen, like last week’s Hardhome massacre, is as epic and thrilling as something you might see in a fantasy movie, and even Shireen’s sacrifice is good, rounded drama.

Stannis and Melisandre have been burning people alive since we first saw them, and they have come too far for Stannis to back out now. It all led to this, and now that Stannis has nothing left to lose, it will be interesting to see the full extent of his ambition.

Next week’s episode is called ‘Mother’s Mercy’. Could we finally get an appearance from a lady whose heart’s made of stone? Note: that might be the least subtle reference I’ve ever made. I haven’t read the books, but I know enough about Lady Stoneheart to know that she fits the episode title.

Elsewhere, it doesn’t look like there’s going to be enough time for my ‘Cersei demands a trial by combat because she thinks she can do anything Tyrion can’ theory. All eyes are on Winterfell as Stannis invades, and the Wall, where Jon and the Wildlings have returned to a disapproving welcome party. Keep your eye on Olly. That kid’s up to something.

I feel like David and Dan have left themselves a lot to wrap up next week, but that shouldn’t take away from ‘The Dance of Dragons’, which is one of the best standalone episodes this season.

You can catch the season five finale Sunday at nine on HBO.

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TV 14 [as] Saturdays at 12a ET

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TV 14 [as] Saturdays at 12a ET