Brutal Dictator Worries about Image, Sues Activision


Manuel Noriwho?

Former military dictator of Panama, Manuel Noriega, sounds exactly like the kind of person his title denotes…kind of a jerk. From 1983-1989 he ruled over Panama and is known for quite a laundry list of dirty deeds: kidnapping, murder, rigging elections, planting a bomb in one of his superior officer’s planes, drug trafficking, and most famously, working for (and subsequently manipulating) the U.S. government and the C.I.A. whilst maneuvering himself into a position to become the absolute authority in Panama…and then we went ‘Murica all over his ass.

Noriega's high school yearbook photo.
Noriega’s high school yearbook photo.

Noriega essentially worked for the CIA while simultaneously creating, “the hemisphere’s first narcokleptocracy”*. This is a fancy way of saying he tricked a whole bunch of people and was able to amass a vast amount of wealth by trafficking lots and lots and LOTS of drugs. The CIA and, by extension, the U.S. Government, wasn’t all too happy about these shenanigans (as well as numerous others) so, they boot-stomped his ass and brought him to America to stand trial. He was convicted on charges of drug trafficking, money laundering, and racketeering.

After serving his time, he was promptly released and then promptly extradited to France and the returned to Panama to stand trial for murder. So why is this critic-murdering, election-rigging, drug-trafficking, CIA-sweet-talker suing Activision? According to BBC, he doesn’t like how he has been portrayed in Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, as a murderer who kidnaps people and betrays his American ally.

Yeah, that totally doesn’t sound like something he’d do.


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