Once you’re on his list, there’s only one way off. Sony Pictures Entertainment is desperate to form their own Spider-Man cinematic universe without Spider-Man, for some reason, and continues to make movies featuring the wall-crawler’s most recognizable foes. The latest is Kraven The Hunter, and boy, does it look as Sony-ified as you would expect.
Take a look at the violent and bloody Red Band Trailer here:
As you can see, the movie stars Marvel veteran Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Quicksilver in Age of Ultron) as the titular Kraven, who has seemingly gotten animal powers after being attacked by a lion or some such nonsensical bullsh*t. The Red Band trailer wants you to know how bloody Sony has made this film and really wants you to be thankful for it because that is what the fans want, according to some internal testing and analytical data Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Tony Vinciquerra probably masturbates into.
“After an encounter that came too close to death at a young age, Sergei Kravinoff is gifted with the instincts of a true predator and the thirst for the hunt.”
Ugh, eyeroll.
At the end of the trailer, if you weren’t underwhelmed or bored to death, you may have been surprised to see some guy reveal himself to be the Rhino, another one of Spider-Man’s frequent foes, after presumably having a vodka tonic cocktail infused with Rhino DNA or whatever. Because apparently, that’s all it takes in this universe to gain powers- ingest animal DNA with some science crap sprinkled in.
The movie, which will no doubt be another major flop for the studio after the disaster that was Morbius, will hopefully get the Sony executive team in line and maybe figure out that they can just leave this sort of thing to Marvel Studios but even they seem to be struggling lately in making quality content.
Is this all the result of superhero fatigue? Nah, we don’t think so. If anything, fans, no matter how deep in the midwest they live, can sense when a movie is a joyless cash grab. And whether it’s streaming over on Disney+ or debuting in theaters, a stinker is a stinker. Get your act together, Hollywood. Because this garbage content is tired.
