[dropcap size=small]I[/dropcap] haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I know there’s a lot of sex involved. If you’re a white girl between the ages of 16 and 30, chances are, you’ve read it and you’re all OMG that the movie is coming out on Valentine’s Day. I have a faint beacon of hope that my girlfriend won’t be asking me to see it, but I have a feeling I’ll be sitting in a movie theater seat on February 14th, 2015. Anyway, here it is. The trailer is as dirty as a straight edge nun. Spoiler alert: that means not at all.
Porn: The Movie stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (yeah, Kick-Ass is in this movie). The movie releases Valentine’s Day 2015. You hear that, guys? You’re screwed.
